sex in the digital age

YOU'VE TEXTED, tweeted, and Gchatted your guy today - but have you had a face-to-face conversation? And does it matter if you haven't? Judging by the results of our third-annual sex survey, the answer is "no" when it comes to nookie: More than 47 percent of you said your sex life was a-m-a-z-i-n-g (compared to 2 1 percent last year). But tech has had an impact: 5 1 percent said couple-time in the digital era feels less intimate dian it used to (he's attached to his iPad, you're compulsively checking your cell) and puts more stress on you to stay in touch with your guy when you're not together.

So what's a gadget-savvy girl to do? Find out what more than 1 ,200 SHAPE and Meni Fitness readers had to say - and then use our tips to make tech and relationships better bedfellows, -marissa stephenson

the ex files Thanks to the ever-present temptation of the Internet, it's not easy to get over past lovers. Around 81 percent of you said that you won't de-friend your ex on Facebook; 75 percent admitted to constantly checking a former flame's page. (What's more, 72 percent have put your current partner's ex-girlfriends' Facebook pages under surveillance!)

TUNED INTO YOU

You may feel your man is digitally distracted when you're hanging out, but post-sex, he's all yours. More than 85% of guys said that, if they had to choose between cuddling, checking their phone, or surfing the Web after making love, they'd pick snuggling up to you.

CELL MATES

MEN AREN'T THE ONLY ONES ROMANCING THEIR PHONES. HERE'S WHERE WOMEN DRAW THE LINE WITH THE GADGET:

72% think it's okay to check their phone during a date

51% say they've broken up with a guy - or been broken up with - via text

70% have sexted their partner

gender agreement

When it comes to dating, foreplay, and spying on your spouse in this high-tech time, men and women are (mostly!) in the same camp.

* The fast track icker because it's ay connected, and 58 percent of guys say flirting over Facebook, Gchat, and texts helps them get women into bed sooner

* Cell ya later When asked "Would you rather give up your cell phone or sex for a year?" 61 percent of women and 78 percent of men said they'd rather ditch their mobiles than go without getting busy. Take that, tech!

* Background check More than 70 percent of women and 63 percent of guys say they google of Facebool prospective dates.

* Where r u? The written word is in: Sixty-four percent of women and 50 percent of men say they use text messages to stay in touch with their partner more than any other form of communication.

* Laptop lovin' About 10 percent of women and men have had Skype sex, and an additional 20 percent of men and 10 percent of women would like to give it a try!

* Snoop dog What counts as internet spying? Thirty-four percent of women and 39 percent of men say, "It's never spying if the info's online ." For 45 percent of girls and 44 percent of guys, it isn't prying until "you're combing through every photo of an ex's Facebook album." Emails are fair game too: A whopping 76 percent of women would look at their partner's account if he left it open, and 69 percent of men fessed up to the same.

* Room to stray? When asked," Would you consider it cheating if your partner went into a sex chat room?" 66 percent of women said yes and 55 percent of guys said no.

Most women and men said they have sex once or twice a week.

More than 65% of you said you'd been asked out by text, and 49 percent via Facebook message (though in-person is still the most common approach).

REBOOT YOUR RELATIONSHIP

How do you strike a balance between staying on top of technology and maintaining a connection with your mate? Belisa Vranich, Psy.D., author of He's Got Potential, offers these guidelines:

* Let it go to voice mail Checking your phone on a date is normally a no-no. But if you must, either glance at it during a trip to the bathroom or apologize first ("Sorry, waiting to hear my mom got home okay" will do). To really show your guy he's Important, turn off your phone In front of himand it'll give him the message to do the same.

* Power off before bed Trolling Facebook under the covers or leaving your BlackBerry within grabbing distance on the nightstand can distract you from your mate and kill an amorous mood. Agree on a set hour when you and your partner will shut down your electronics and be together without distractions, That truly wireless time will help you both unwind and relax- and increase your odds of getting lucky.

* Speak your mind Sexting and instant messaging during the day has its place (keeping things hot!), but don't save all your "I love yous" for texts, tweets, and IMs1 says Vranich. Make a point to tell your partner that he's wanted, needed, and loved. That personal contact will make every word mean more- even if you don't have the extra time to phrase it eloquently.

50% of SHAPE readers say they watch porn online (and 82 percent don't mind if their guy watches it without them).

NEWS FLASH

1 month

The amount of time it takes the majority of women to change their relationship status on Facebook after dating a new guy.

WIN IT!

Have more fun in bed: Go to shape.com/giveaways and enter to be one of 25 readers to nab a tub of Babeiand Edible Body Chocolate (a $22 value).